Adap-tension

Wikipedia describes the reason for extinction of Dinosaurs as “Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event”. Roughly translated, it means that the mighty did not survive because they could not adapt to the changing climatic conditions on the earth. The point I am trying to make here is that essentially, adaptation is the key to survival.

Research on the human species suggests humans have survived and will continue to do so because they are intelligent and adapt.

Why then does a sub group of the human species find it so difficult to adapt?  

The Great Indian Mother in Law (GMIL) is a group which has traits strikingly similar to the dinosaurs. They are powerful, menacing and love to spread their dominion over another sub group - the hapless daughter in law (DIL). Quite like the dinosaurs that were the dominant species: powerful, mean and menacing, the GMIL is extremely influential among the human race.

Dinosaur	GMIL
Mean	Mean
Dominating	Dominating
Arrogant	Arrogant
Dumb	Cunning (fox-like)
Extinct	Surviving

The above comparison lists out their common traits on the one hand and their dissimilarities on the other. While the parallels I have been drawing are pretty obvious, the differences are more subtle. While dinosaurs were known to have brains the size of peas, GMILs, being from the Homo sapiens species, are intelligent creatures in all walks of life. But when they are faced by their DIL, they exhibit a level of intelligence, far beyond the ordinary.

They seem to have higher usage of the grey matter in the brain as well, in dealings with the DIL. Social scientist will agree with me in my observation that the controlling streak in them peaks and they are at their meanest and most aggressive in this situation. Now, if you have studied the rest of the Animal Kingdom, you would expect such behavior when the creature is under attack or feels threatened by the presence of a predator.

Axiomatically, the GMIL’s behavior in the presence of DIL alludes to their controlling nature and the fact that they fear their dominion being threatened by a new entrant in their sphere of influence. This results in vociferous criticism, sarcastic remarks, veiled threats, unfair comparisons, emotional blackmail and what not.

The GMIL is a creature unique to India, a country famous for its paradoxes. Not so surprisingly, GMILs wish to see their sons married, but to a girl she thinks worthy (meaning who can be controlled by herself), educated, working professional (but who works only at GMILs command), gels with the family   (caters to every whim and fancy of GMIL), is extremely fair, beautiful, petite and docile (basically straight from the Fair and Lovely commercial and a puppy without a tail) and is supremely dumb (dumb enough to not understand GMILs shenanigans).

In a society with rapidly changing demographics: more working women who are breaking the glass ceiling in all walks of life; the mother in law is black hole preventing the working married woman from equality in domestic life. Their resistance to adapting to the changing times is immense and their sense of righteousness is beyond compare. Metaphorically, their resistance to adapt and embrace the DIL as another human equal o their sons is as powerful as the great dinosaurs.

And the dinosaurs became extinct for they could not adapt themselves to changing temperature on the earth. Wake up call GMILs? Or soon you may be extinct too…

Woe-MAN!

I often think what it would be like if I were a man.  Apart from the fact that I could pee in public or take my shirt off when it pleased me, what else would be vastly different?  Oh and let’s not forget- no PMS! Hmm now we’re talkin..!

Come to think of it, there really are a lot of advantages men have in being…. ah… well…MEN. They don’t have to constantly invest in looking good so that a guy will come up and compliment them or feel awful when no one gives them a second look when they walk into a room. Whew! that sounds like a feminist talking. Let me assure you, I am not one of ‘em. 

I have always had a lot of friends from the opposite sex. Come to think of it…almost all of my friends are men. So that makes me some kind of an authority on them. NO. That’s how a man would have thought. Actually how men think can be a useful basis for analyzing them:

The “thinking”  man:

I start this taxonomy exercise with the most common of all – “the thinking man”. The thinking man is widely respected as a person who spends time on intellectual pursuits. The common symptoms are: he will be found hiding his face in a newspaper and still cannot tell what’s on page 2; he has read “War and Peace” and can quote verbatim from it; but may not be able to change a light-bulb in his own house.

The “I am busy” man:

This category belongs to those of my counterparts who are always busy. They work 12-14 hour days on weekdays, with a few hours thrown in during weekends for good measure. It may be observed that several software engineer friends of mine suffer from this syndrome. And yes, they do talk gibberish (which may or may not be Java code) in their sleep.

The “I, me, myself” man:

These are men who are besotted with themselves. Their love for themselves often borders on the point of being narcissistic. They seldom acknowledge the existence of two-legged creatures around them who possess matter (grey or white) between the ears but resent superior specimens of any species.

The “I am awesome” man:

“Awesome men” think it’s their duty to present their awesomeness to the world in the most obnoxious of ways. They strongly believe that everything about them including their house, dog, car, wife, neighbours and their aunts are awesome and the entire world must acknowledge them. They love sharing their opinion on anything under the sun with lesser, under-blessed, unfortunate mortals around them.

The “Screw everything! Let’s have beer” man:

A man in this category is often called a “man’s man”, or “alpha male”. He is the one who loves to argue about everything under the sun and then ends it with “Screw it! Let’s have a beer”. His peers envy him, some want to be like him. Symptoms usually are: large crowd surrounding a small table where our protagonist narrates one drunken adventure after another.

Mind you, it may be entirely possible that one may find all of the above traits in one man. Or, there may be traits which I have not written about in this blog. This is neither complete nor exhaustive;  but fear not my friends. That will be material for my next outing!!

Hind(sigh!)t

There are times in your life when you wish you could go back in time and just erase/delete/obliterate something that happened in the past.  However, the world conspires against you to remind you time and again of the occurrence. Try as you might, you simply cannot turn back the clock. As you keep on thinking and analyzing the issue, there is something called “hindsight” which kicks in. It brings with it the realization that you made a mistake (Ugh  ...I still hate to admit it!) and at times some learning (depending upon how many brain cells you have).

Come to think of it, why does it happen that you realize this only on hindsight? For that matter, why doesn't the realization that you had in hindsight come to you before the event itself. Alright, I know this is confusing …..So let me put it this way: why doesn't hindsight (or call it by any other name) come before the act that triggers hindsight? I know wise guy…I can imagine the smirk on your face when you say it aloud…. “It’s called foresight silly!”

But really…you don’t quite get it, do you? What I am referring to is the learning or realization that hindsight gives you and foresight doesn't. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could have hindsight or the realization that come with it before we make a decision?  I think it would be infinitely better and much more welcome thus.  Remember the time when you gave yourself a mental kick when you said or did something which triggered an unintended adverse reaction? I am referring to that.

This brings us to the questions as to why am I bothered suddenly about hindsight? It’s because I have come to realize that hindsight could save one a lot of embarrassment, sheepish smiles and regret. One wouldn't spend time fretting over what went wrong or how one could set it right. One would not be worried about what could have been but couldn't. It would simply, save us all, a lot of trouble.

Enough said people! Some of you who are reading this blog (c’mon … there aren't  a lot of you who know I write a blog in the first place) and an even smaller subset who have understood what I have written; must be wondering what this is all about. I know of more than one person who must be thinking ... “what crap is this!”  Yes folks! Above all, in hindsight you can say that I happened to have some free time and didn't know what to do, so I thought of writing a blog. I had no idea what to write about … so I wrote a whole lot of crap to distract myself and entertain some of you. Come to think of it …. This isn't a whole lot of b***s***. There are scientists out there who have dedicated a lifetime to studying the phenomena wherein you “see” light even after closing your eyes!! I cannot be blamed for spending an innocent 20 minute session for writing this trash. ‘Nuff said people … See ya..Till the next inspiration strikes in my “free” time! 

Starting the day with a smile :-)

Alright, I know I am a late starter...but what the heck...this is my blog. So I choose when to write it-right?
Don't bother answering it because I don't really care.

Okay so now we come to the second most important question, which is- What do I write about. There are bloggers who fancy themselves as experts on Business and Finance and write about the Euro-zone crisis, some who are tech-enthusiasts and write about the latest gizmos, others write about fashion, food, politics, getaways, etc. Well, I do read up on all the above and more...but I have to make a confession here.....I don't understand most of what they write on www.techcrunch.com. And I cannot tell you whether to 'Buy' or 'Sell'a stock.But do not despair, my dear friends.I am your one-stop guide on everything else that matters (at least to me!).


The bus-ride to my office is an interesting time of the day for me. Not that my work is less interesting...I say that because I come across strange/funny/irritating/weird people in the bus and studying their behavior is an interesting pastime. A week ago, I was standing in the BMTC Volvo bus next to this obnoxious female, herein referred to as 'OF' in all future references. The OF had planted her plump self (can't write F** A*s here coz my family might read this) onto the seat as best as she could, which wasn't a lot, going by the obvious discomfort on the face of the poor guy on the next seat. It was only 30 seconds since I boarded the bus and her phone rang. JESUS HOLY CHRIST! Why do people put their phones on loud mode if their ring tone is a Justin Beiber song! After this shriek to myself (of course on mute) I waited for the blasphemy to end. She took her own sweet time pulling out the ridiculously expensive smartphone from her shoulder bag which had the name of an Engineering College printed on it. Hmmm so, OF was an engineering student who wore eyeliner, mascara, lipstick and black nail-paint to her college. OF then started speaking in what yours truly likes to call "Tanglish" to a friend who was apparently not studying in the same college. She then proceeded to talk to her in a voice so loud, I can bet folks in the bus right behind mine could hear her. She told her friend
how "kewl"her college was and that her gang had been nicknamed the "high-fi snobs" by classmates and how they got completely sloshed at a friends birthday party and could not go home for fear of getting caught by parents.
Whoa! Thats a lot of info she had let go of. Then she went on to conf the call with another friend and then another.This went on for about 40 minutes after which she decided it was time to listen to some music. I looked at her in horror...."does she have earphones"? Oh yes she did!
OF, completely oblivious to the fact that there were people around who did not care for the kind of music she liked; or, for that matter, music of any kind, decided to play the music first and then rummage for the elusive earphones in her bag. Out came a bag full of cosmetics and make-up, some munchies, wallet, sunglasses and then....the earphones. Wow! What a relief! I cringed thru it all and then what she did next made me feel like doubling up and rolling on the floor!! OF could not plug the earphones properly....she plugged it in and clamped on the earphones and started nodding her head vigourously and moving in her seat. But she didn't realise that the plugs weren't inserted properly into the input slot and we could all here the music. It invoked giggles from the sundry females around me...."what was OF swaying to if she could not listen to the music?"!!!!!!!


What a start to the day I said and smiled to myself...